


You’re Like Me (piece by piece you fall apart)

by abellyofjelly



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 15:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14548107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abellyofjelly/pseuds/abellyofjelly
Summary: Lucas and Toni are in a band together and in a no strings atttahed relationship. They are entirely unsuccessful at not attaching strings.





	You’re Like Me (piece by piece you fall apart)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eafay70](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/gifts).



> Title from Simple Season by Hippo Campus

It’s fucking hot on stage. Like, ridiculously hot. There’s more sweat dripping off Lucas now than he can wipe off on his sleeve. He glances over at Isco, who is dancing behind his keyboard, seeming completely unbothered, and Toni on bass who seems completely focused on his instrument. Lucas begins to sing, trying to lose himself in the music as much as is possible when he feels like his skin is going to melt off his body. He’s mostly successful.

Two years ago when they played this same festival, they’d had the 11:00 am slot, the first band of the day, on the smallest of the 3 stages there. They’d been excited to get 40 people at their show. This year they have the 5:00 pm slot, only 3 shows before one of the headliners, on the biggest stage. There were a couple hundred people there, and a good amount of them actually knew their songs (the most popular ones at least). It had rained a lot earlier and the ground was almost completely mud. Part of Lucas wished he was out there in the mud pit, dancing to his favorite band, drenched and dirty and happy. But knowing that he could be that favorite band for someone was pretty cool too. 

It’s after the show, when Lucas is wiping a cold towel over his hot forehead that Toni catches him alone.

“I think we should room together tonight” Toni says, low and soft.

“Fair enough. I’m pretty sure Isco is probably getting tired of sharing with your ass anyways.”

And they leave it at that and it’s fine. Lucas is fine with it. Because this is somewhat normal for them now, and he’s used to it. 

..

It started when they were recording their last album. After a late night at the studio, they’d finally found the right sound for a song that they all knew was a fucking good song and the triumph, the euphoria of it all was lifting them up, making them feel lighter than air. Isco had fallen asleep on the futon in Lucas’s apartment, and somewhere in between a third bottle of beer and a 6th episode of Friends, Lucas and Toni had ended up in Lucas’s bed together. They’d woken up the next morning to a hard look from Isco coupled with a, “this better not happen again.”

It had happened again. And again and again and again. 

..

The thing about it all is, Toni is the best person Lucas knows. He’s kind and thoughtful and intelligent and he’s so so calm. Lucas loves that calm, loves the way it settles him down to his bones making his head stop spinning for once. Lucas just wants to be around Toni as much as possible. And he’s figured out that sex is a reliable way to make Toni say his name a lot, and he likes that. 

Isco is still mad, but (unfairly) he seems much more angry at Lucas than at Toni. Even minutes before they perform at the next festival he tells Lucas angrily to, “stop fucking around with Toni so casually.”

And Lucas has never confided in Isco, in anyone, about how he feels about Toni, about how calm he feels around him, so he just looks at Isco and nods. It probably is about time for him to realize that all he’s doing is hurting himself more.

After their show, after their amazing show, Toni asks Lucas if he wants to room together. Lucas says no and pretends not to notice that Toni looks a little upset. He’s upset because he’s not getting any tonight, and it’s the first time Lucas has ever said no to him, and that’s all, that’s all it’ll ever be. So, when they go to watch the headliner’s show that night, Lucas leaves the VIP area that the bands are in and goes into the general standing area. Lucas tries to get lost in the music, but it doesn’t work until some girl recognizes him and starts smiling and dancing with him. She’s pretty, in a “not Toni” kind of way, but definitely pretty. And just to see if he can, Lucas kisses her. She kisses him back, aggressively, and Lucas knows that he won’t wake up alone the next morning.

..

Lucas is naked, the girl from last night is naked, and there’s a knock on the door. Lucas pulls on his underwear and a shirt and goes to answer it, 

Toni is smiling at him, beaming really, “There’s a waffle place like a block from here, let’s go.”

Lucas feels his heart stutter, too many emotions all at once, “With Isco?”

And fuck, fuck everything in the world because Toni says nervously, “No, um, I just wanna go with you. Like a date.”

And right at that moment, like Lucas’s life is some dumb romantic comedy movie the girl in his bed says, “Lucas?”

Toni’s large smile drops, and his eyes fall, and Lucas wants to reach over with his hands and push his face up into that smile again. Toni says something, but Lucas can’t hear it over the ringing in his ears, and then Toni leaves. 

Isco told Lucas once that he had self destructive tendencies. Lucas figured it meant that Isco was judging him for sleeping no strings attached with a close friend. Now, as he goes back to bed where the girl from last night is, he has a better idea of what Isco meant,

..

Isco hits him. Lucas isn’t surprised by this really, knows he probably deserves it. Lucas doesn’t even say anything, just looks at Isco, trying to make him understand that he already knows he’s an idiot and he really doesn’t need a lecture on it. 

Isco either doesn’t understand what Lucas’s eyes were saying, or decides to give him one anyways, “Didn’t I tell you yesterday to stop being so casual with Toni? And what do you do? You go and sleep with someone else almost immediately. God, Lucas, it doesn’t take a genius to realize that Toni’s head over heels for you. I know he’s quiet and all, but it’s so obvious that I thought even you could notice.”

Lucas falters, “Toni hasn’t- doesn’t, this was the first time he said anything about liking me as more than a fuckbuddy.”

Isco looks at him, his eyes squinted, “No, this is just the first time you’ve noticed.”

..

Later, Lucas knocks on Toni’s door. Isco answers and tells him not so gently to leave. 

But Toni pushes Isco to the side, saying, “Let him in Isco. He’s alright, he’s okay.”

Isco looks like he doesn’t agree, but he leaves the room with a final hard look at Lucas. Lucas looks around the room, the sheets on the bed are a mess, there’s some dishes on the dresser, and a low budget action film on the television. Toni sees his glance at the tv, and turns it off. Lucas knows he should say something, but can’t, all the words he’s thought of on the way just leaving his head.

Toni speaks first, “You don’t have to apologize. Like, we never made anything serious or official. So it’s not like you cheated. And, if anything, I should apologize for asking you out, and making things get all complicated.”

Toni’s apology rips through Lucas’s body, finally bringing out his words, “You did not do anything wrong. Fuck, Toni, I slept with that girl because I was trying to get over you. I knew it was stupid of me to keep sleeping with you no string attached when I had feelings for you. But instead of manning up, and asking you out like you asked me, I found the first person that I could sleep with and I messed up. You asking me out was one of the best moments of my life. And, I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to say this. But, Toni, I want a relationship with you, I really do. And, I completely understand if I messed everything up too badly, but Toni, if there’s anyway we can try to move on, and make this official, I would love that so much.”

It almost hurts Lucas how readily Toni says yes, how eager he is to forgive Lucas, that Toni is willing to take some pain if it means having Lucas. But Lucas tries not to focus on it, tries to focus instead on how he’s going to treat Toni for the rest of however long they get (Lucas hopes it’s a long time). 

Lucas holds him, and the next morning he doesn’t wake up to “the girl from last night”, or his “fuckbuddy”, he wakes up to his boyfriend and there’s no one that Lucas would rather see.


End file.
